1) I miss Jack terribly. I'm ready for him to come home from Spain, or at least find a way to communicate with me while he's there. I just want my boyfriend home closer to me. I need my best friend back.
2) My mom wants to pay my sorority dues because she's so happy that it's been such a positive influence on me. That's all well and good, but part of me thinks that she's going to be paying KT's dues and just doesn't want to be unfair. And if you know me at all, you know that I've been saying that if KT's dues get paid for by them, I'm getting them to pay mine, but right now I really like the independence of paying my own dues. It's nice to afford something I really want. We'll see what happens.
3) Watching the Olympics is amazing, but part of me still gets a little sad when I watch the swimming. Now I know I was never on track to be that caliber, but still, it's hard to watch my favorite events knowing that I've swam my last competitive races. (Just wait, I'm going to be a Master's Swimmer someday because I can't sit out that long) My grandma was over tonight watching with us, and was talking about how all three of us kids are good swimmers, and how KT is at a school with an amazing swim program and she wanted to know if KT was swimming there. So we ended up discussing the types of swimmers we were. Basically, I was pure heart. I don't think my technique was great, nor was I really fast, but I was so competitive that I'd win a race just by sheer will. I'd rather die then let someone beat me, and I've never been happier than when I was pushed to the limit and prevailed. That's the part of me that sometimes wishes I'd quit theatre to swim. It's complicated, but I just feel like I missed out on something and I can't get it back.
4) Speaking of Jack, my mom and I were discussing how we felt about him meeting my grandpa before he started declining, and I said I was happy grandpa had met him at all, implying that if I do marry Jack someday and Grandpa was dead, at least he'd met him and got to know him. My mom said that she was fine with me marrying him someday, and that her only complaint was that I was too young, but that time had fixed that. She said that before we got married or engaged, we should spend time in the same town, seeing each other everyday. Wise words, but it was weird to hear my mom approve of a future marriage, and to think that I'm getting old enough to make that decision soon.
5) I feel so confident this summer. I've gotten my dream internship and then ROCKED it, leading to a future job next summer if I want it. It's amazing to know what that does to your self-worth. I've proven myself to others, and had the time of my life doing it. I've reached a place where I'm happy with what God's given me, and I don't want anything more right now. I want to go back to school, take my confidence there and build on it. I want to be a grownup girl, not a teenager.
6) Six word memoirs are amazing. Try writing your life in 6 words, and see how cool it is. Here are some of my favorites from the preview video for the book:
Danced in a field of possibility. -Deepak Chopra
Revenge is living well, without you. -Joyce Carol Oates
Not a good Christian, but trying. -Alexander Tsai
Bad reputation, such a good girl. -Erin Oldroyd
Sunday, August 10, 2008
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